I just though you guys might enjoy seeing two of my brothers videos he's done in film class in college. I think they're pretty cool but that might just be becuase he's my brother :]

The first video is a video about the lives of two people through their handss...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o32L2TCRj1s

This video is pretty funny, it's supposed to be about himself but he's not actually like that... it's more of a video on who he is making movies i guess it's funny though

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Njjp5Bxbas

Why do a reflection on an english pape, when I can reflect my life

So... it's 1:22 in the morning and today has been a very hectic day. I have this huge English essay due tomorrow and of course i just finished it!.... or thought I did. God damn it. I have to right a reflection on this paper. How bout i write " I bullshitted this whole essay" and we call it a day. Oh no, but their are guidelines to this reflection and I'm not exactly sure if that statement for fills the requirement so, lets take a look at what's needed.

In a few paragraphs, reflect on your paper by addressing the following questions:
1. What was it like to write this paper? Explain the difficulties you had along the way.
2. What are the strengths of your paper?
3. What are the weaknesses?
4. What specifically did you revise along the way?

Well that's not fun, and I'll never get it done anyways so how bout I write a reflection as though I'm talking about the book written about my life. A reflection about my life and the process of getting there. I think this is a pretty good idea. Of course I won't hand this in but it'll keep me bussy for a while.

My life isn't finished yet, it's more of a work in progress. I'm still in my rough draft stage of my life. I know I'm going to make mistakes and I still have time before I need to hand in my final, so why not just write without back spacing or correcting. It's when your truest self comes out. Mistakes are inevitable, so embrace them, remember them, learn from them and the next time you stumble upon it, thank the lord that it happened. I don't know whether I can say writing my life story was a good or bad experience but it was, and still is difficult. No one said life was going to be easy but there will always be other "writers" that make their stories seem so good and make you even doubt if you should continue writing your book, that once meant so much to you. But eventually you'll get past your writers block and that's when your greatest writing will come. Difficulties writing my life story? My publisher decided to sponsor another book, my printer ran out of inc and stopped working, my computer erased all my work, but hey, I'm still writing aren't i? Difficulties aren't problems, their challenges you put upon yourself to test your own strength. The people that helped me write my story are even more important than the book it's self because without those people, their would be no pages with no writing. Everything my book is today, is because of the people that found me a new publisher, let me use their printer, spent hours with me relocating the files on my computer , then buying me a new computer so this never happened again. You can only thank the author so much for a good story when the characters in the book are really the amazing ones. Although my book is very interesting, it's very inconsistent. It has unorganized thoughts, grammar and spelling mistakes, maybe even missing some pages but non of that worries me because when I get everything organized, I know my book will be amazing. For a long time, I worried about the pictures going in my book, the color of the font, what the cover would look like, what size font i would use but along the way i realized that what happens if someone picks up on book in a store and realizes that the book is missing so much, so, I started to build up the context and it's been working for me so far.


There's a lot of analogies going on... hopefully they make sense. I could just be really over tiered right now and have no idea what I'm saying. Wonderfull! :]

The Evil Word

I recently went through this crazy breakup and am attempting to patch up the wounds lately but during this whole massacre, I've come to hate the word it. It just pisses me off. I never minded the word, I never even really thought about the word but I've come to conclusion that it's a blanket that people use to cover up what's actually going on. I mean, in the right context I don't mind it, but if you use it the wrong way, it could really get on my nerves. It could stand for ANYTHING. My boyfriend... well, ex-boyfriend... attempting to fix it- friend, used it a lot and I never mentioned it but I've been meaning to blog about it. I don't exactly know what blogging about it would do but I feel it is necessary. So here is how I've come to hate this tiny word. My boyfriend fucked up big time recently but he'll never directly state what he did. He'll always say, "I'm so sorry for doing it.", "I didn't mean to do it.", "I don't know how it happened.". I have no idea why it pisses me off but I think it's so strange that this life altering thing, although high school breakups sounds silly, yes life altering thing can be boiled down to this two letter word. And maybe that's why I hate it, because it represents everything I hate. I've never actually realized how weird the word it is. I used the word it in my last sentence but meanwhile it is representing my hatred for the word. It's this mind swirling word that if you think about too much, could get you a bit dizzy. It's kind of like a crutch, when you use the word it, it takes the hurt out of the situation and puts it into a teeny word. This poor word, has to sum up two months of pain. That's what crying, screaming, hating, loving has all boiled down to. "It was bad times" It? I went through so much, he did so much and yet both situations are still represented by it. In my opinion, this word should have never been created because evidently it gives people the easy way out. What would you rather say.... "I'm sorry for fucking another girl two days after breaking up with you", or "I'm sorry for doing it".... yeah that's what I thought. Slowly but surely, I will erase this stupid word from my vocabulary... or at least try.

la la la :]

Well, I'm going through a bit of a song writing phase lately, I'm not sure if it's more poetry though because I haven't actually put music behind it but it's what I plan on doing because I'm learning to play the guitar soon. So I've decided to put up some of my lyrics or whatever you want to call them. I usually write them either when I'm extremely happy or horribly depressed and some of them could get very cliche but they make me happy and I thought I should share one :]

This is my horrible mood song:

Tell me I’m the only one
Tell me it’s me you see in your dreams
Tell me I’m all you’ve ever wanted
Because I want to believe you
Once upon a time
There was you and me
Then came her
And the end of me
I cried for days then realized
That if it’s her you want
it wasn’t meant to be
You eventually came back to me
But I was unsure
You broke my heart
But then I found out more
Your heart can’t break anymore
After it’s been broken
So I lived numb to the pain
In a world of make believe
I cover up my heart with a smile and a laugh
A scar and a scratch
So I know what I feel is real
Everything is fine to you
Everything is perfect
This is what you wanted
But what about me?
maybe if I were better
maybe if I cared less
we had our problems
but we had good times too
but I guess it wasn’t worth it
I guess it wasn't worth the fight
You had your moment of weakness
Everyone does now and then
But now I live with your mistake
Every second of my life

Let the Right One in

I haven't stopped thinking about thinking about this movie since the second I left the STAC room. I think what really struck me was the silence . The soundtrack was absolutely beautiful which really helped you take in the moments of silence and let you think about what was going on. One thing that really pushed towards the scary side of the movie were the movement in the camera. There was almost no movement of the camera and if there was, it was extremely sloww. The movie mostly consisted of quick shot changes. When you mix quick shot changes and slow to very little movement... you have a creepy movie. One thing that really interested me was the distance from the camera to the actual scene. It made you actually feel like you we're watching them from a distance. That also contributed to the creepy aspect because i felt kind of weird watching it... almost like i wasn't supposed to be there. Whenever I watch those really stupid, gory, scary movies i always have the tendency to close my eyes or turn around but i always have to take a peak back because the thoughts in my head matching the sounds going on are actually worse than the actual movie. This director clearly knew that the average person does this and he didn't want you missing one second of his film so he said "hey! they can't escape sounds unless their 4 and think sticking your fingers in your ears actually works, so, I'll give them a little picture, add all the sounds and leave the rest to their imagination." He really takes the saying, "less is more" to a whole new limit. I think the rubix cube sympolizes oskar and eli's relationship. You make one turn, and it doesn't seem right at first, but in reality it's just taking you one step closer to the perfect ending. Eli keeps killing people and you cant help but be like "What the hell is going on? Leave this girl now! She's gunna kill you." but it actually helps Eli and Oscar become closer.