work chopss

"All our progress is unfolding like a vegetable bud. You have at first an instinct, then an opinion, then a knowledge as a plant has a root, bud and fruit. Trust your instinct until the end, though you can render no reason."

I've really liked the acting work shops we've been doing lately. These workshops have really helped me sit bad and just watch. You have no idea how much it helps when you're watching someone else's monologue and they get feed back on it that could pertain to your acting too. Most advise given to a person on their monologue can help your perfect your too! My favorite advise that Joyce has given is to BREATHE. It makes such a difference while doing your monologue. I never realized how much of a difference it makes but when you watch someone, and they actually breath instead of doing their monologue in one breath, it looks 20x better and more "organic".

And according to the cell theory, we can conclude that .... "Oh, she looks cute in her default"

I've finally figured out my problem. Thanks to Luke I have come to conclusion that I am horrible at getting things done and committing to doing thing daily. It's amazing how I've been procrastinating, not getting things done, then feeling like shit all of the next day not having the slightest idea why. Facebook is my number one killer. I can openly say that I am a "facebook whore". It's all I do. I take facebook stalking to the next level and get all caught up in picking apart everyone else's lives that I forget to keep up with my own. I never get homework done. I do science homework in the morning, I do math homework in science, I do Italian homework in Italian and in Italian I do English homework so clearly I have a horrible way of getting things done. I'm convinced I have A.D.D but I don't think that excuse would fly by my teachers so greatly. I wish I was good at getting things done because I always have great ideas for blogs. While I'm in class my head goes crazy with ideas to write about but instead I comment on my friends default picture reminding her of the great times we had forgetting SHE WAS THERE AND SHE DOESN'T NEED TO BE REMINDED OF IT. If only I could think like this while I went around liking everyone's statuses. I just made a promise to myself that I will do one blog every day. It will be good to have me commit to something besides breathing. I can't even commit to taking medicine every day. I'm supposed to be taking medication for my knee because it's inflamed or some crap like that and of course I've taken the pills maybe twice and i got them two months ago. I'm not hurting anyone else besides myself... of course if my knee suddenly gives out while I'm walking down the stairs and i take out a couple of kids ... well then i guess I'm hurting other people too but commitment sucks and I'm determined to conquer it.

STACom... I was born with a little stac in me ;)

What has stac done for me? Well, after coming out of stac everyday, I can say that walking through the hallways and outside is like one big trip. You honestly feel like your on some crazy drug and your having some sort of weird high. Colors are popping out, things you've never seen before, you start to notice, things you thought you knew so well (trees consist of two colors; green and brown) start to get questioned, movies you thought were your ALL TIME FAVORITES, don't seem as good anymore. Every day at stac, I wish I had a notebook with me to write down some of the things that are said. I keep forgetting but I will remember to get one sooner or later so I can just write down things that are said that move me so much. Not only has this class helped me change as a person but the people in it are absolutely amazing. Everyone is learning and changing together. They help you think in ways you've never thought you could. One reason I love stac so much is because it questions what I think every time I'm there. Luke always has something witty to say that makes me rethink everything I've ever thought. Sometimes it's even overwhelming when we're talking about something big because my head raises with all these thoughts and those thoughts question my thinking and my thinking is changing every second and it's one person after another saying something so meaningful and my brain constantly has to play catch up. I cannot count how many times I've learned a weird fact and then gone around telling every person I know what I've learned. My friends constantly ask me what i did in stac today because every time they ask, I always have something interesting to say. One thing I regret is not keeping up with my blogs. I don't even know why I stopped blogging because I loved it in the beginning and I always have so much to say about something so I guess I have to get my train back on track and keep up with these blogs. I love reading them all the time though. Stac also helps you realize things that were collecting dust in the back of your head waiting for you to realize what was actually going on. The things that are said in peoples blogs, you read them and you’re like HEY, I THOUGHT THAT TOO! but you never really realized you thought it. It's hard to explain like it skimmed through your mind but you never actually acknowledged it. Stac basically helps you figure out who you are. You are who you are but you never really think about it because you're too busy trying to figure out other people.

Kontroll = anxiety

Kontroll... hmm...I don't even know where to start. Kontrol is one of those movies that if you think too hard about it, you get this pressure in your chest and your breathing gets a little heavier. I wouldn't exactly call it anxiety but its very close to it. What really freaks me out is that when ever I go to a train station, I always have to test what my mom says and stand at the very end of the platform. I might have a fear of train stations for the rest of my life.... thank you Nimród Antal. After talking about this movie so much, I don't think i can ever watch another movie the same. I'm not gunna lie, I am the worst movie critic ever, I think every movie is AMAZING. But, after analyzing this movie so much and also talking about movies on Friday, i now have a different view on movie watching. After watching the movie the first time I thought it was really good but I didn't know why. Then we talked about how Bulcsú could possibly be the killer and that had me questioning everything i thought about the movie, and then we talked about all the symbolism and I thought HEY that's really cool. That got me thinking about all my favorite movies or movies I thought were good and they have none of those aspects and in all, really aren't good movies. It's so good because there's so much to talk about the movie but you can't talk about it. You know what you want to say but then another thought questiones that thought about the movie. It's very hard to explain.