Yay finally writing this!

So, my brain was swarmed with so many thoughts after our big talk about King Lear and I finally get to write it down! So one of my first big thoughts was when we talked about the end of King Lear. I love it! After talking about everything and what not, I no longer want to watch any movie with a happy ending because that's not life. What is the end of a movie? The start of another chapter. In a typical movie, it's bad, bad, bad, bad, the sun shines, there’s some kissing going on, then boom, they leave you with a happy ending which inevitably means they’re off to bigger and better things. But, think about your own life. When do you start a new chapter in your life? (Usually anyways)... When something really bad happens. That's when you're life takes a huge turn. When was the last time something really amazing happened and it turned your world around, I mean besides having a kid or getting married, nothing really. At the end of the chapters in your own real life, they end badly, if they ended good there would be no reason for a new chapter. That's just my perspective though; there could be people who think completely different. Another thing we spoke about is how it would be more pleasing to think that the 2 sisters were these beautiful women. I kind of find this funny because society find it more for filling so to say when there is a contrast between the meanness and beauty. If it was cruel ugly people, well that just sounds weird and wouldn’t be as satisfying as to radiant women with cold hearts. I find that very interesting, not sure why, but I do.

shakespeare(actually did a blog before i was told and realized it was saved as a draft....cool)

I absolutely love my new acting workshop. First off, I found a new love for Shakespeare and am even thinking about switching to the Shakespeare class for senior year. I also found a new epic monologue that I love from King Lear which I could definitely use for any audition. I also love how it's a small group and there's a lot of talking and learning going on at the same time. Usually in the workshops it's more of them teaching and talking a lot then us trying to apply it but instead, we were learning but also applying it to the monologues at the same time. We also broke down the monologues and figured out that Shakespeare isn't some crazy poety that no one is supposed to understand but just people talking and we figured out how to make it easier to understand. I also found it awesome that he writes in iambic pentameter and how you can use that to figure out how to actually say the lines and how they're feeling if Shakespeare maybe makes the lines shorter or longer than 10. I can't wait to actually get into Rob's written play.

just read my email! crappp

Dancing work shop: Well to start off, I'm a horrible dancer, that was deffenitly confermed on monday. I think this dancing workshop will be really helpful though in teaching me the basics which I'll obviously need if I want to persue this field. Although I was a horrible dancer, I realize that I'm not as horrible as I thought I was and it's not so bad once you get into it. I've had to dance on auditions before so, although I hate dancing and am a spaz, I'm glad I'm in the work shop becuase it's something I need but would never really be able to bring myself to actually do and learn. I went in thinking I'm gunna suck so obvioulsy I did but hopefully next time I start with a different and better aproach and I'll see if maybe that will change things (which usually does). As my mom says, it's always good to be a tripple threat so although I'll never be a master at dancing, I'll strive to be a 2 and a half threat.

Friday Mime

Fridays mime was pretty cool because instead of doing random different acts of mime, we did scenes. They weren't just any types of scenes though, they were scenes of rituals that we do that flowed into each other. We had engagement, football game, new years party and were currently working on a funeral. They all flow into each other but have no connection. It's cool that you can use nothing but your body but show exactly what we're doing and feeling.

Mime from a different perspective

I actually did more watching mime then the actual act of mime becuase I recorded what was going on the whole class for the ending project. It was cool to watch the learning process and see people get more comfortable as time went on. As your doing mime side by side with all the other people you basiclaly are foccusing on yourself and don't get to ovserve other peoplpe but while i was recording i got to see what people were doing to make it better, how into it some people were getting and how your focus helps you make evrything look more real.

friday mimee

Better late then never. So, as the sessions go on, I'm getting a lot more comfortable with miming which really let's me explore with my body easily and more flowy. I really enjoyed the ending where we did this slow motion excited scene and I actually enjoyed it a lot bc I couldn't believe how real it looked while looking in the mirror. We also did a super bowl fight scene and it was really funny and got me out of my head easily.

First Mime Experience

So, my first experience with mime was very fun but very awkward. I hate when I'm not good at things so I autimatically give up as soon as I start with was probably what happened for the first half but then he said everyone "lean on the bar and hold it" and he went around checking or fixing everyone and he came by and altered my arm a little and said perfect and thats when I looked in the mirrow and was like "woah, I actually look like I'm leaning on something" which is a pretty funny break threw for me but that's when i really started to get into it and enjoyed learning all the small tricks on how to make things look real.

Mimeee

So, during my adventures into researching Gregg Goldston the first thing that came to mind was "holy crap did this man work hard at acheiving his dream". At 18 he figured out what he wanted and didn't stop until he was working with the best. What do I expect while working with this guy? Well, comming from a man who saw no limits, I asume we will be pushed to our own which I'm excited for considering sometimes I need a little push. While watching one of his videos speaking he said that Marcel Marceau worked on huge stage as a single man but some how always looked big, that's what I want to achieve. A presence thats's bigger than my body using something so simple. I think mime will be fun becuase it's some what a truer form of acting. You can't "fake act" with your body. Either there's a natural flow or you've failed. That's atleast how I see it. I'm excited to see how such a master of such work passes on knowledge in such a simple way for us. Bring on the mime.

Sorryyy :)

Sorryyy if I hit you with a lot of writing but some of it is actually pretty cool not gunna lie :)I'll update gradually now that I'm pretty much up to date! Tell me whatcha thinkk!

Did I do this?

Do you think we’re born with natural competition or is it acquired during the process of growing up? If the day you were born, someone stuck you on an island being grown up with no guidance what so ever and on your 16th birthday, they put you in the real world, do you think one of your first thoughts would be why you weren’t better then everyone else? Would it even cross your mind? Were we grown up striving to be better then everyone else, or was it a flame that grew with in us on our own? When we’re told we’re bad at something, we don’t try our best to improve but compare ourselves to the best and try to be more like them. What if when we looked in the mirror, we didn’t think how much more beautiful other people were but we thought about how beautiful we are ourselves? Did society put this on me or is this a product of myself?

From Lover

Dear Love,

I’m so sorry you’re all used up. After all the songs, poems, paintings and everything else, you must be tiered. People use you and take advantage, I understand. You used to be so special, but as the world got older, you could love a shirt, a song, your 6th grade boyfriend and other nonsense. Love once was something rarely said until two people felt mutual feeling for each other, where they never wanted to be with anyone else. The sun rose in their eyes and all you wanted was a family with then and to grow old. Now, if a boy texts you all day, he is suddenly the love of your life, that is of course until the next week where he’s into your best friend. I apologize for the worlds inhumanity towards you.

from, Lover

Everyone's Insecure but you gotta learn to love your flaws!

Guess what? I like having a chubby face. Yeah I do. Cuz it’s mine and there’s nothing I can do about it. Yeah I could probably stop eating the foods I love so much but that’s not fun. I love my small boobs. Yeah one day, when I’m really cool living in the city, I’m gunna rock the small-boobed-braless look. I like my thick legs. Girls shouldn’t have legs like an 8 year old boy and I don’t and never will, it’s how I’m built. Yeah I barley fit in a size 1 anymore but at least I have a butt. I like my chubby fingers, my gloves fit nice and tight and I like my big feet, I feel balanced and secure walking on the ground. I like my weird nose because it lets me smell cake, flowers and that new born baby smell. I like the scar on my eye brow, it makes me look like a hard ass. I love how I never have my nails painted, it puts this idea in my head that I’m just so busy doing wonderful things that I have no time for manicures but really it’s because I don’t give a shit about my nails. I love my dark circles that are permanently on my face, I could be the natural faced girl but I like putting on makeup. Plus, it reminds me how it’s impossible for me to go to sleep before 5 in the morning, but that’s when I do all my great thinking. I love the scars on my wrist and ankle, it reminds me that I used to not be able too handle heartache and insecurities, but now I can.

What do you want to be when you're older?----A Hanger!

gly. What does “ugly” even mean?

I want to know who sculpted the laws of attractive people.

Not one person is more attractive looking than the other, just different.

A perfect nose, blue eyes, full lips, chizzled cheek bones is not any easier on the eyes then a girl with a big nose, chubby, thin lips, and full eye brows.

Our guide lines to a beautiful girl are what other people tell us what beauty is. Hundreds of years ago, being over weight used to beautiful because it meant you were rich and well fed.

Girls go threw some of the toughest obstacles to be “thin”. I’m not criticizing people who think they need to drop a few pounds. Weighing at 110, I would kill to weigh 100 pounds…but I’m not exactly sure why…

Everyone wants to look like a model. They’re 6 foot and weigh 100 pounds. Well, I just found out that models are so skinny so they can look like hangers and not distract the people away from the clothing. So I’m trying to look like a hanger?

Time to stop

Some people are afraid of the dark, most of spiders, being alone, death. My fear is time. It’s uncontrollable. You can’t stop time, nor will it stop for you. The common person rejoices on Friday because it’s the end of a hardworking week and now it’s time to relax but I don’t. Every Friday is a reminder that last week I was rejoicing over a week being over but here I am, the weeks are slipping by and I can’t catch them. My grandmother died on a Thursday. I had singing lessons every Thursday. After years of refusing to sing to her because of my selfish insecurities, i decided to sing to her as her days were slipping by. She passed away that day. She never got to hear me sing. The days that you waste;do nothing. Go make a memory. Time is so precious. No one dies peacefully. Everyone get’s killed. Who the killer is is the real question. The killer can be a person, cancer, disease, cars, accidents, time. Time is a killer but yet the least blamed. Time kills all. How much time? You walk through the hallways, streets, building and look around. People everywhere. You don’t know any ones fate. Neither do they. Time does. It could be seconds, minutes, hours, days, years until they leave this earth leaving behind memories. You can want more food, more money, more children and in some ways, by miracle it can happen. But you can never gain back the time lost. So sit back and appreciate the time well spent, and think about how time could be better spent.

Love songs suck

I love you. I love you more than anything else in the world. I love you more than ANYONE in this world. It’s not possible for anyone to love you more than i do… Very common phrases. They’ve all probably been thrown around at least a dozen times in a relationship. But guess what. The media helps you realize that your not the only person who knows what love is. You always think that it’s not possible for anyone else to love someone more than you love your boyfriend/girlfriend but quite frankly it is. There are songs about it all the time. People know what it’s like to love someone so much but yet you think your the only one. For a while i liked thinking it was not possible to love someone more than this… but it is. It’s a weird feeling when reality hits you. You’re not special. Everyone loves.

Little Men In My Brain

If I am the controller of my mind, why do I think unpleasant thoughts? They aren’t good thoughts, nor ones that I would like to have eating away at my mind. Do I control my thoughts? If I did, wouldn’t I be thinking about rainbows and butterflies all the time? Yes, I’ve said it… we don’t control our thoughts. Well than who does you might ask? Little men. Little men in matching uniforms. These men are clearly evil. Well then why do we SOMETIMES have pleasant thoughts? These little men are slackers. They day dream, they take naps, they play games and that is when we have uplifting and happy thoughts. But don’t worry. Soon enough they’ll get the job done which will leave you laying in your room listening to depressing music… that’s the only kind of music they like. Well some people are just really happy all the time, what about them? Deformation. They were born without these little men. No one knows why they aren’t born without these men… mainly because no one else thinks there’s little men living within the archives of ones brain, but I do. It’s the only explanation to the dark and saddening thoughts that corrupt my mind. I mean, it’s not like I choose to think them….

Welcome back to me!

Okay all this time of no posts, I don't want you to think I'm not doing shit sooo I'm gonna transfer all the stuff (at least some of the good stuff in my opinion) from my other blog that I have written and if ya got an opinion please do tell :)

Land of La La

Ever get that feeling? That feeling where you just don’t feel like yourself. You feel as though everything around you is just passing you by. It’s as though you’re in a daze, but for days on end. Colors seem to blend, faces are all the same, time is slower but yet faster then what it normally is. It feels as though your head is empty. No thoughts, opinions, no nothing. Just your hollow head that tells you to put one foot in front of the other, but that’s it. It doesn’t tell you wrong from right. When you do the wrong, it’s not so wrong because you just worry about putting one foot in front of the other. There’s no problem with this daze, or at least while your in it. The problem is when you enter the real world again. Everything isn’t so easy anymore. Life comes around and smacks you. You’re up. Now you have to spend time trying to remember what you did while is this land of lala and try to figure out how to undo it.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

As I spoke about in class, Mattise got me thinking a lot about BEAUTY. Abstract are is beautiful. Sculptures are beautiful. Walking through MOMA, you look around and not everything is perfect. There is art that's very simple, art that's very complex. There's colorful art, black and white art. There's tiny little sketches, and humongous painting. All art is different. But, non less beautiful than the other. Kind of like people. We don't always look at it this way, everyone's beautiful. No one is any less beautiful than the next person, just different very much like art. This also ties into the play we went to go see. How could one person say they are any better than another just because of the skin they're in. I take the term beauty is in the eye of the beholder very seriously. I like to find the beauty in everything.